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Always and Forever I will See Your Smile

Letters From Mother

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Letters From Mother
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A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.    ~ Washington Irving (1783-1859)

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Feb 12,2009 Well Dustin I started this New Year with a bang as I am sure you know. Two heart surgeries and nrither Dr thought I would make it. But as I told Litle Billy ya'll thought D.Rawls was tough he nothing like his mom and Granny LOL I am living at Granny's until revovered whcih will be ahwile but better each day.

Tiff was awesome she stepped right in and took charge. The dogs had to be placed since I could not take care of. But soon I will get me one to just spoil rotten.Little Billy and I will be having walking dates. Who now we may even start to like it LOL

What a year this has been but is quiet obvious God nor you want me in Heaven yet I have things here to finish! I love you and miss you, Mother

December 22,2008, Good Morning Dustin. It is a cold morning here and I was thinking how different you and Tiff were with the covers she kicked them off and you could not get enough. I know Heaven has to be beautiful preparing for the Birthday of Jesus and imagining you are a part of this for the 2nd year is very hard still for me to do. So many precious angels with you and the moms all missing their angels so much.
Tiff and Paul and the boys were here the weekend really enjoyed their visit. I tell you Tyler is getting so big. Paul showed Tyler's Christmas Program and Tyler quiet the little dancer.  Brett is getting very tall and just turned 10. They both are growing up so fast.  Tyler still memaw baby though and like you and Tiff guess he always will be a baby to me.
I love you and think of you every day ned to hear one of those songs you use to make up and sing that wopuld be a great Christmas Gift from Heaven. I know I will see your smiling face no doubt. I love you, Mother
 

December 9th, 2008, Well my Baby Marine time for some of those Pep Talks or my  so wise son a fireside chat either one will do. I guess from that you can tell I am not handling the holidays very well this year. Reality is not so good that I can say. I much rather think your away in the Marines still and will be home soon which I fool myself many days thinking this to get through the day and most likely will do this for a very long time.  Only good thing is I know your safe and happy and I will see you again just not as soon as I would like. Moms still ask me how I can be so strong after only a year I sure got them fooled huh LOL. No they know I have my days as every mom does but I always tell them Dustin taught me as much as I taught him how to survive and be strong when needed. That I do have my days that I do forget the fireside chats and the pep talks and have to sit and think what would Dustin tell me. I know you have heard this all for a year now and will hear it alot more I am sure. This journey is a life time and each road a different direction. I know you will be having another awesome Christmas celebrating Jesus Birthday. I know to be a part of that has to be so awesome and only we can imagine the joy you must have. on that day. Also you know that you are remembered and ,loved here so very much each and every day not just on holidays. I think Little Billy going to dis-own me if I don't dry up the tears soon,the last few weeks have been hard..He is being so strong for me you would be so proud of him.Well I will not write a novel just know I love you and miss you so very much! Mother

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November 27th,2008. Happy Thanksgiving Dustin  Just wanted to let you know as always I am so thankful for you and Tiffanyand now my Little Tyler too.  These holidays are much harder than the first because the first I just feltt this could not be true and a year has past and you have not called with a silly song or walked in the door smiling so I know reality has set in and You truly are in Heaven and your new home. I will see you again one day I know but so hard being here and you there. I love you so much, Mother

November 23, 2008, Well it is about 9pm here and was thinking about you. They say this gets easier as times goes but  so far I have not got there. I think I do just to bounce back..Tiff and I were talking the other night and we agree JUST NOT FAIR but God knew better than us why he needed you in Heaven,more than he thought we needed you here. I saw you smiling today on the way back from HEB the rays were beautiful has your smile. I could not smile with you today I tried but just couldn't so was a cry baby instead.
I hgues I just needed to tell you how much I miss you and the pain has not even dulled yet so need those  Matrine Corp Pep talks or the fireside chats would do.
I love you so very much! Mother

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November 5, 2008, Just thinking of you tonight and missing your inging you funny songs that were so sweet. The week has been a good week. We are having a Thanksgiving Gathering for all Angels and Moms. Some moms have made you some beautiful gifts too.
Uncle Hungry's BD is Sat. and me and granny going to the party. He is living in Brookshire and Jr. living with him which seems to be going well and good for both of them.
Nothing really else new to tell you! I love you and so proud of you each and every day! Love,Mother

October 29th, 2008 Good Afternoon Dustin, Normal Day around here "Doggie Maid" but a good day. beautiful outside. Alot of moms and I have been sharing alot this week about our children in Heaven. I know you are surrounded by some awesome people, I hope you hav nmet all of the angels that moms I comunicate with. We all miss you all so much! But together we are learning about thie NEW we live. DJ, Shane's Mom  drew two awesome pictures of you for me by a picture I was so surprised and they are awesome.
Little Billy has a job now and I am so proud of him. I talked to him last night and he said the hardest part of it is the way people talk to you. I told him Dustin said the same thing about the Marines they all in your face and you have to be respectful and keep your mouth shut. So a good lesson for him to learn and also the one that is the hardest for all of us. I hope you stop him if his mouth starts to go off on someone LOL
Talked to Tasha and she is doing better and loves and misses you every day.,Her grandmother sounds liek a awesome lady I hoep someday wil be able to meet her.
Well back to te mop and broom LOL I love you so very much! Mother

October 19th,2008 Dustin I have waited a long time before wanting to hear this song it is REALITY and I guess all this year even when I thought I was living reality I was not I listened to this song last night for the first time and yes momma was a cry baby. My son your work here on earth truly is done and now you are sharing your love and heart from heaven. And I am working through you to keep your life here on earth alive. I was just saying last week how I feel sometimes you are just still in the Marines and will be home soon on leave. But this song really put a damper on that thought. But I know something I need to deal with. Oh baby boy what a year this has  been. I love and miss you so much every day! Mother

October 17th, 2008, Good Morning Dustin! Was sitting here hinking about you this morning as I do every morning and just wanted to say hello and tell you I love you so very much and miss you every day! you have brought so much to so many. I feel your job here on earth was done well and I am so very proud of you! And I know you continue to watch over all of us daily.
Today is Aunt Susan's Mom Fay's Birthday would you give her a big hug and tell her Susan  loves and misses her so much! Also my friend Sue-Anne, her Lee's Birthday today too. So many angels in Heaven with you and so many on earth with hearts broken and lives changed.
And you know Becca and Little Billy always need a hug as me and Tiff and so many others. I love you so much baby boy! Mother

October 13, 2008  Hello Dustin and I know a great day for you doing good here too. I have a funny Tyler story for you. Yesterday I called and left a message for Tyler to call me and he saw the caller ID said P Rawls so when Tiffany said memaw called he said no it is PePaw it has P Rawls. Tiff told him that is for Patti he said well it should have M Rawls for Memaw. Too funny that nephew of yours. He did call me and we talked about 30 min. I am a member of his new club too. You have to know the password which I guessed he gave me a clue. he is the leader of this club. But they are just planning it now have to talk to daddy about making it first. For now meeting in the use to be pig pen LOL  I know Tiff has to think of you every day just looking at Tyler ya'll just too much alike.  I love you! Mother

October 8th,2008. Good Afternoon Dustin ! I am still smiling back at you this week. I have to say it has been a awesome week when I think of being sad I look at the picture of the  sunrays and know you smiled upon me your 1st year in Heaven day. I have met so many moms and new moms too and we are having a Halloween Angel Party for all of you in Heaven. Really a fun page and has brought smiles to many. I have also joined a new group of angel moms and helping out some ther when I can. So your generous heart still remains with alot of love to others. The sites and helping others is my safe haven and time I am with you and know your with me as I create each and every one. Many moms have sent you Hallowen gifts too and so neat seeing each and every one. So I am okay and wanted to let you know as if you didn't already LOL
 I love you so very much and so proud you are my son! Love,Mother

September 28th,2008 Good Morning Dustin and it is a good morning seeing you smile upon us yesterday made the day such a more peacful day. I loved being with Tiffany and Paul and the boys. If Nelza would have listened to Tyler's mother LOL when she said ,no you don't need to ride the horses we would have missed your smile. So as you can see Nelza and Tyler had you in this plan all along. LOL
 
I heard from Tasha as I did email and call her. And she emailed last night her day was good for the most part with help from her grandmother. she said that when we lose a loved one to remember that they are in a better place than us. They aren't suffering, they aren't worried, or unhappy. They are in bliss, hopefully looking over us and waiting until the day we see one another again.
 
I am praying for all of us to truly feel those words  in our hearts this year . You are still and will always be a part of our everyday and your smile and your heart of gold will always be in my mind each day when I awake. Love you.Mother

September 21,2008
Good Afternoon Dustin, the sun is out and a beautiful day today. Very different than last weekend. And I thank God for him sparing us in this terrible aftermath of IKE.
I have met so many new friends along this journey this year. Wish we did not meet because we all have a Child in Heaven but they are great support and we all understand that our life is now a NEW one. No one knows the exact path it will take us and for each of us different but the same. I am doing alot of support group help and sharing my heart with all I can as you would be doing  in a different way but the strength you have and the strength you think I have I will continue to keep your life alive and do all I can for anyone I can. Some days I am not so strong but remember what you said and cry and then get past it and go on. Many think I am surrounded by death every day with my Angel Moms but it is not death but LIFE. Which I am sure you can understand unlike many.
I love and miss you every second of the day and I see you in the shapes of the clouds and just talk to you as if you were standing in front of me. Just one cloud out of so many stands out to me. I know your mom still YOUR mom LOL and really do not care what people think about my feelings and how I handle you being in Heaven. Tasha and I talk about all the goofy things I use to send to you in the Marines and I told her really has not changed I still take things to you at your resting place that no one would  understand but you. I love you Dustin so much! Mother

September 15th. 2008  Well Dustin we have had some excitement here but not in a good way Hurricane IKE really hit Texas hard. Katy was spared Thank God with a litle damage and no pwer for a few hours 2 days. But so many with out power and homes. I emailed your friend Denton to see how he was because I think he lives in Kemah. And I need to call Little Billy about their beach house but if it had no damage would truly be a miracle.
Tiff,Tyler and Tasha all called to make sure I was safe several times.  Which meant so much .Tasha's grandmother was even worried about me. I'm watching over Tasha as I know you would want me to  and knew I would no matter what to me she is still my daughter in law and always will be and she is doing okay like me she has her days. I hope to be able to see her again soon. She like me had a time that she had to shut many people and family out but was so happy when she did get back in contact with me. I know how she felt so many have handled your death in so many different ways. I still think of all the pep talks you gave me over the years and trying to be strong for you but some days not so good Little Billy probably already told you all that. I have got to know Becca a little better and she and Little Billy truly know you and your heart like me  and there are not many people that truly knew you that way, so is a  blessing to have them in my life.. I know God is busy along with all ya'll there beside him praying for all the vicitims of IKE. I think you were in the Marines the last 2 we had so close . I am glad you were safe during this one and no fear as I know you did not like thunderstorms. To be honest I was not afraid this time  for many reasons I am sure you know. I love you! Mother

September 2, 2008 Happy Birthday Baby Boy this the day amongst others I always tell you how proud I am of you. Heart of gold and not a selfish bone in your body. Gave so much to so many and always left yourself last. Ever since you were a toddler. Life is not the same with out you that is for sure and never will be again. Little Billy and Becca keep me going and I thank them for that. I also think of all the pep talks we had and trust me I need alot more. I know your having a awesome party and so many people have lit candles for you and released ballons all mopms of angels there with you.
I love you so very much and I thank God you are the person you are unlike no other. Love you ,Mother

YOUR MOTHER IS ALWAYS WITH YOU

             Your mother is always with you ...
              She's the whisper of the leaves
                as you walk down the street.

                  She's the smell of bleach
             in your freshly laundered socks.
            She's the cool hand on your brow
                     when you're not well.

        Your mother lives inside your laughter.
          She's crystallized in every tear drop.

               She's the place you came from,
                         your first home ...
                   She's the map you follow
                with every step that you take.

                      She's your first love
                 and your first heart break ...
         and nothing on earth can separate you.

                     Not time, Not space ...
                         Not even death ...
                    will ever separate you
                       from your mother ...   
                You carry her inside of you.

                     ~ Author Unknown

NOBODY KNOWS BUT MOTHER

They talk of a mother's toil and care,
Of the tasks that her hands must do
Of the furrows that creep o'er the brow once fair,
Of the burdens and heartaches too.
But they know not the joy stitched in each little dress,
The pattering footsteps that brighten and bless,
The thrill of a baby's loving caress--
Ah, nobody knows but Mother.

They talk of her narrow and humble place,
The monotonous life she leads,
While others are learning and growing apace,
And doing such wonderful deeds.
But they know not the mystery deep that lies,
Hidden away in a baby's eyes,
And every day brings a fresh surprise,
That nobody sees but Mother.

There was never a task by the Father given,
That brought not its blessing too,
And the life that liest the nearest Heaven,
Was given, oh, Mother, to you.
The task is great, but the joy is sweet,
The hours of prayer bring a faith complete,
And the highest wisdom our life can meet,
Lies hid in the heart of a Mother.



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A Year Has Past and seems like Yesterday!
I love and miss you and you will always be with me every day.

pdrawls1956@consolidated.net

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